Lesson Learned

"No regret, just lesson learned . . . "

If you are not daring enough, don't you ever try to:

1) be friend with fake people

2) confess your feeling

"Why cannot be friend with fake people?

WHY???!!

I had this one friend and she was soo stupid. Aku tak tahu dia punya tahap bodoh tu macam mana tapi yang pasti bodoh dia memang tak boleh nak ajar (Simpati teruk aku dengan dekat perempuan ni) I admit she WAS my friend. I thought she is a good person, innocent but I was wrong. Stupid me believe her! And now, idk what wrong with her. Suddenly she blocks me and a few my friends (yg kawan tu takpelah sebab i know the true story but me.. -_-' ) 

Maybe people think that I'm to rude or kasar when talking with them but actually I'm Not. That's ME. I'm not that kind of girly to say polite things all the time (I am not HYPOCRITE person) Benda boleh bincang. Just tell me or tegur kalau aku ada buat salah. Jangan nak tweet membabi buta then tell them that I was stalking you. Oh what? Am I a stalker? Hahahahahaaa.. Let me tell you something. Aku cuma stalk orang yang lawa, orang yang aku sayang dan family aku. Kau bukan orang yang lawa, bukan orang yang aku sayang and even not a part of my family. Jangan perasan. Like seriously, kau tak lawa.

"Why cannot confess your feeling?"

I am a girl, never confess my feeling (unless if he is my couple) and I'm not that dare to confess it because I afraid that I will lose him one day.

If we want to confess our feeling, its okay but we have to face this two kind situations ;

1. Kau diterima
2. Kau direject

Guess what, I confess my feeling and now he don't want to layan me like before. Orang suggest suruh confess, aku ikut jee. Kadang bingai jugak aku nie (Tapi tak seteruk manusia perempuan atas tu) Aku pun confess lah feling aku. Kononnya nak cakap benda lain tapi aku cakap benda lain (Dasar bingai) Dia pun just say thanks je. So kena faham2 sendirilah (Menyorok belakang pintu sambil lap air mata) Aku tak cukup daring lagi dalam bab2 macam ni sebab aku tak tahu and totally tak reti macam mana nak handle and control myself in this kind of situation. That's why i always fail in relationship.

As the conclusion . . . . . . 

Kalau rasa diri tak cukup berani, janganlah buat perkara yang sedemikan rupa sebab kadang2 ada yang tak boleh terima akibat dari perbuatan mereka. And the important things is beware in making friend. Maybe at first they look too kind, too innocent but later segala belang dia tunjuk. Kita jugak yang suffer because of this kind behavior yang tak berapa nak matang and professional. 

"I just wanna say that I do love you and I really do"

Mr.A

"If we were not meant to be . . . ."

First of all, this confessional is special made for you Mr. A. I'm sorry if my words make you hurts and this is my decision. Before I tell you about my decision, let me remind you about something :)

6 years ago, you were with me. I admit that we were happy and I was happy when i'm with you. You said you can accept me who I am, whatever status I was , my background and my past. I'm so thankful to have you and I appreciate it. But after a year we broke up. Both of us had to face this unwillingly and I know it was my fault. FYI, I never regret about it because day by day i know you better. I know the real you. On that time i was sooo stupid for keep waiting on you. YES! I'm waiting for 4 years.

During that time, you treated me like a doll, like rubbish. Let me stress it. YOU TREATED ME LIKE A DOLL AND RUBBISH. But its okay. I'm fine with it. My patient has limit. So after 4 years, I give up. I think I should move on. So I tried and thank god I can do it.

After a long time, you came back. Idk why but i was shocked when you asked for something that I want it before this. You want me to get back with you like before this. Hahahaha.. Okey lah. I tak kisah sgt lah pasal tu but when you propose me to marry you, I was like "Fuck, you want this rubbish marry you? Like seriously?!" OMG! When I asked you kenapa cari I balik?, your answered was Sebab I still love u. Fck! If you still love me, why you treat me like that. Gila hina la weyh. Hahahahaa..

:) But now, I'm happy with my life. My new life. I know i have a bad social life, live and friends with unhealthy people and whatsoever yang penting I happy with it. 

So Mr. A, I'm sorry. My answer is NO and forever No. You know me better right? :) This is my decision and I will never regret about it. Life style kita tak sama and I tak mampu nak bagi apa yang you nak. I'm not ready for it. Again, I'm sorry about it. :) And one more thing, Life is meant to be enjoyed, not endured. Remember

This is my confessional

Never thought that it will happen and now its really happen. At first yes, I admit it. I was so happy. Fucking happy like hell but after u said that fucking word, I feel like yeah.. I'm the stupid girl in the world. Trust every single word that come out from your dirty mouth. Every single day I've been thinking about it and now i know the answer. I'm only your toys and I've been fooled.. Thank you so much. I'm fucking appreciate it. Go die man!

Oh Hana :)

Hidup berubah bila ada yang disayang dan yang menyanyang. We need to be more alert on our relationship and sometimes we have to sacrifices on what we have for it. Yess my dear. Bunyi dia mcm melampau tapi itulah hakikatnya bila kita dah berpunya. :) 

Aku bahagia bila tengok kawan2 aku bahagia dengan hidup masing2, dengan pasangan masing2. Feel like watching cartoon sambil makan popcorn.. Hahahahaaa.. Aku pn tak terkecuali jugak :) Since I have him, I feel like I'm the happiest girl in the world. Kahkahkah.. Orang selalu nampak aku main2 tapi hakikatnya aku serious lah.

Why??

Aku xboleh nak serious all the time sebab aku rasa tension dia tu lain macam. So i decided to be more main2 instead of serious ( dah mcm orang pegang masalah negara zimbabwe). Aku akan serious tapi on certain things je such as education, family problem and HYGINE!! Tu penting okeyy.. 

  jangan jadi perempuan kalau xreti nak jaga kebersihan

Back to our topic, sebenarnya aku nk story pasal si Hana ni je. Orang tu dah couple weyh.. Wuuu.. I'm happy for you Hana :D Aku ingat lambat lagi kau nak menamatkan zaman single kau tu. Hidup bukan main demand lagi nak mat salleh, tinggi macam zirafah bagai. Tapi end up dapat jugak sorang yg local. Made in Malaysia gitu. Wakakaaa :D Takpe Hana, dia tinggi, putih. Kira apa yang kau nak memang dia ada lah. Complete lah jugak kan :) 

Pape pon Hana, I wish you enjoy ur life, appreciate every moments that u have been thru with him because life is too precious to leave. Terima dia seadanya :) 

I love you n wish u were happy ever after. Kita sama la weyh. Stay crazy girl :)

 

Narrow Minded

Me and Yus, my classmate <3

I have one friend yg sangat narrow minded. After I upload this picture, he said I am lesbian and I like "bodoh ap kau doe. Tak kan xpernah ada kawan yang mcm nie ke?" C'mon people. Semua orang ada perasaan. Jangan lah judge mental sangat. Manusia semua tak sama. Masing2 ada cara sendiri. She is my classmate and my buddy. Tak kan because of satu gambar nie, kau nk judge aku mcm tu. Even aku upload kissing picture dgn dia pon, tu xbermakna aku ni lesbian. No worries because I already have mine and dia memang lelaki.  So please be open. Ramai lagi yang dekat luar sana ada kawan macam nie dan yang memang macam kawan aku. Sangat bersepah weyh.. Rilex okey.. Kawan jangan memilih. Rupa, harta, jantina tu belakang kira. Yang penting hati ni ikhlas nk berkawan baru kita rasa happy dengan sape2 kita berdamping.

So guys, if korang ada kawan yang memang norrow minded giler babi, just bash and bahan kaw2 je. Takpe, jangan takut... Ni jenis manusia yang bangang abadi. Jenis tak reti nk explore dunia luar. Duduk dalam dunia cartoon mungkin. Asal pandang pondan atau pengkid, terus rasa jijik. Cuba lah kalau benda ni, kena dekat diorang. Confirm aku split on their face. Who cares. Rasa jijik sangat kan. So rasa lah kau mcm mne diorang rasa bila kau hina dia semua mcm tu.

And one more things, aku nak mintak tolong. Tak banyak pon. Aku nak korang doakan Yus kuat dan tabah utk hadapi segala ujian dan sakit yang dia hidap sekarang. She is one of the people yang sakit breast cancer. Even stage one pon, benda tu tetap cancer and we need to cure it walau apa cara sekali pon. Please pray for her yaa guys :) Thank you :*

:Yus, Eja sayang Yus. Yus tetap the best even though perangai kadang macam celaka. Hahahaha.. Stay strong syg.. Allah akan tolong yus :)

Manizer

According to Urban Dictionary, Manizer is.....

1. The female version of womanizer which it is refer to someone who uses men and throws them away like dirty torn (yess..), underwear and also it refer to  a woman who in place of a man would throw away a dirty condom (Eeeuuuu..Jijikss..)  
2. A woman who uses a man sexually for her own benefit or until some personal interest has been satisfied (look like a desperate woman need sex.. Damn it.. 
3. A girls who sees different men at the same time just for fun, nothing serious, and uses them for sex ( what the fu*k doe) and that is it, uses them for her guilty pleasure (hobby maybe -_-).
4.  When a woman uses a man for sexual favors and never intends to return the favor ( well done sis ). A woman who leads men on for however long she feels, until she does not need that man any longer. #LonelyBattle  ( What a useless woman.. Lifeless and lack of love.. )
5. The female version of womanizer. She hunts men ( Careful guys ). Kind of like a cougar except not age restrictive. Non offensive term for sexually active females. ( Lack of love doe.. Come on laa.)

***************

Eja perati dari number 1- 4, si Urban dictionary ni cakap pasal sex. Manizer is all about sex ke?? So then, the one who called me manizer mesti fikir yg aku ni nk have sex. Macam tu ke? Atotooo. Come on la. Janganlah sebab kita ni frust menonggeng bercinta, tempias nak marah tu orang lain yang kena :D Dah takde jodoh, nak buat macam mne. Abang sado, sila relax. badan dah cantik dah. Mulut je kohajaaa.

Womanizer and manizer does exist but is that true they are womanizer on manizer? For me, yess. Memang wujud makhluk sedemikian rupa. Tapi janganlah sebarang tuduh. Get understand the meaning first then decide whether they are womenizer or menizer. Ni kalau nak pakai terjah payah la jugak -..-' Urban dictionary ni pn satu, semua ada kaitan dengan sexuality. Macam dah takde life. Is life about sex?? Maigadd :O Hmm...

Feeling Down ):

This Song Is About You..

 

 

 

This is my confessional
Pen and paper I'm gonna right this down
Saying things you never thought
That were on my mind, 
Let the truth pour out
Cause I'm tired of the games
I won't lie, no I'm not ok, 
You were wrong, you're to blame, 
Now the world knows your name.

So here you go, 
You're finally getting a song about you on the radio
Are you happy now that you broke me down? 
Now I curse the day that I met you
I hope you know this song is about you, 
This was no mistake, yes I meant to
I hope you know this song is about you, about you! 
This song is about you, yeah! 
Seem I'm feeling better now, 
I like the way our heads lifting off my chest, 
Should have done months ago
If I knew back then it would feel like this, 
Cause you done all the games
I won't lie, no I'm not ok
You were wrong, you're the blameNow the world knows your name.

So here you go, 
You're finally getting a song about you on the radio
Are you happy now that you broke me down?
Now I curse the day that I met you
I hope you know this song is about you, 
This was no mistake, yes I meant to
I hope you know this song is about you, about you. 

When you hear this play, 
I hope you feel the same way that I felt that day
That you let me, yeah you left me, 
This is my confessional
Pen and paper I'm gonna right this down.

So here you go, 
You're finally getting a song about you on the radio
Are you happy now that you broke me down, 
Now I curse the day that I met you
I hope you know this song is about you, 
This was no mistake, yes I meant to
I hope you know this song is about you, about you
About you, about you, about you, 
This song is about you, yeah, 
This song is about you
This song is about you, oh.

Stressful Life

Hidup tak selalunya indah

Ada kalanya kita di atas,

Ada kalanya kita di bawah.

Hidup penuh dengan drama,

Sampai kadangnya kita tertipu dengan lakonan di sekeliling.

Hidup harus diteruskan,

Walau apa jua rintangan yang dihadapi,

Kerana....

Bahagia masih ada dan tetap menanti

               Hidup memang xselalunya indah dan xseperti yang kita sangka. Same goes like me. Lately ni, Eja terasa sgt stress nye samapai satu tahap rasa mcm xboleh nk pikul. Rasa berat sgt nk terima. Mungkin ini ujian dan dugaan yg Allah bg utk Eja. Takpe lah. Eja terima dgn redha kalau ini ujian yg mampu buat Eja tabah utk teruskan hidup :D 

              Sebelum ni, masa study week, Eja xpernah duduk dekat rumah. Mesti ada tempat yg nk pegi. Mandi sungai, pergi Genting.. Auchh :'( Rindunye moment tu. Tapi sem ni semua dah pandai bawak diri masing2. Semua dah ada life dengan orang lain :D

          Even study week ni Eja xpergi mana2, tapi Eja tetap rasa happy sebab ada housemates yg selalu ada dengan Eja. Selalu bercerita, ada tempat mengadu kalau ada masalah :) 

             Eja rasa hidup ni kosong bila semua takde, bila semua jauh especially Ibu dgn adik2. Eja sgt2 perlukan diorang walau pon kadang2 perangai sgt annoying nak mati. Tapi sebab belajar menjadi halangan, Eja terpaksa pendam. Kuat kan hati utk terus belajar demi Ibu. Eja rasa sunyi without Ibu.

            Eja xboleh bayang kalau hidup ini tanpa Ibu sbb Ibu je tempat Eja bergantung harap, mengadu nasib. Eja ada ibu je dalam dunia nie walau Eja bukan anak yatim. 

Ibu pernah cakap...

" Kita jangann fikir pasal orang. Fikir pasal diri kita sendiri dulu. Jangan susah kan diri kita sebab orang lain. Biar pon Ibu jauh, Farah kena ingat yang farah sentiasa ada Ibu. Ibu selalu ada dengan Farah " 

Hidup mesti diteruskan walau kadang kita rasa terluka. 

Bahagia masih ada cuma masa yg menetukan. 

Jangan putus asa sebab Allah sentiasa bersama kita

 Dia tahu apa yang terbaik buat kita. :) :D

Life, Love, Family and Friends

Hey. Sorry because this entry has no welcome. :(

For this two months, i've gotta lot of problem. Disaster, catastrophe, matter, proposition, loser, i feel all things running up on mind like struck by lightning. :'(

Life..

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself"

Yes.. Life is not about finding ourselves but it actually about creating ourselves. From our life experience we learn everything. Every single thing that happened in our life is a lesson for us. Same goes with me. Everything that happens to me in my life has its own reason but sometime i didn't understand why it happened to me? And why me?

What is life? Can I feel it? Can I touch it? If no, what does it means??

People always said that life is beautiful and full of colors. Beautiful likes me?*perasan la pulak*  Colorful like rainbow? If they say Yes, why I can’t see it. Life is unfair and sometimes it is too cruel for me to move on. I feel like I can’t take it anymore and I GIVE UP. I’ve been surrounded with fool people. Fooling each other and get fooled itself. We can never achieve happiness when we steal people's happiness. Lying, cheating, this is a world of imitation.

For me, life is an adventure when you keep facing all the challenges in it. Life is nothing when you keep running away from it. Both have its own value to pay for and I'd try both. What I get?? Nothing and I’m tired enough with my life.

LOVE

"Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, Love is a war ; Love is growing up."

I dunno why I'm talking about this. Maybe I'm in love with someone or maybe I've been hurt by someone.  Or maybe both.. Hmm… Love is something that can hurt me and it feel like dying when I'm waiting for something that I'm not really sure if it will be mine. And love also hurting me when someone that I love left me because of a girl and gave me a stupid reasons. :/ Love can’t be trust at all. But never mind. Its part of our life and we have to face it one day. And now, I already experienced it. Feeling happy, sad, frustrated and sometimes funny. Hahaha… I dunno why I’m saying it funny but when I’m think about it back, I laughed. I can’t stop from laughing. Hahahahahahahaa… 

But I feel so ‘bersyukur’ because of I have 

"Family and friends are life's gift"

Of course FAMILY and FRIENDS :D Without them, I dunno who I am rite now, how I wil survive for this life or maybe I’m nothing in this tiny cruel world.

To all of my family and friends who listen to me when I'm angry, hug me when I'm sad and laugh with me (or sometimes at me) whenever they can. I just wanted to say thank you for being there for me and i just wanted to tell you I LOVE YOU :D

Lastly.. i hope in my life i can and really do 

Yes.. I hope so that I will get a better life soon. :)

New Friend :D

Helloo semua!! :D

Korang tahu tak yang hari ni Eja happy sangat2 sebab Eja dapat kawan baru. So seronok so excited uolls :)

Apa nama dia?

Nama dia Amirah Syazwani but we called her Mira. She is kind and cantik girl that i ever know. Mira baik sangat and yang paling penting kiteorang satu kepala and banyak persamaan. Hihihi ;) You guys know what.. She is the only person yg bila first time jumpa, Eja dah boleh bukak semua cerita. Maigad!!!! Macam mana boleh jadi macam nie??!! Hahahahaa..

Dulu Eja selalu je terserempak dengan dia dekat kolej tapi takde lah berani nak tegur even penah lepak satu meja pon cakap pon maybe xserancak sekarang. Yelah, manalah Eja kenal dia sangat dulu. Since dia satu kelas Hana, Eja kawan2 jugak lah dia ( i mean tegur2 jugaklah ). She is okey and nice person for me. Boleh jadi kawan yang baik and boleh jadi tempat bercerita atau tepat berkongsi masalah.. Mungkin.. Itu pon kalau dia xkisah. :)

Gambar dia? Gambar Mira? 

Ini lah tuan punye badan yang namanya Amirah Syazwani. Comel kan?? Hahahahaha... 

*To my new friend, Welcome to the club babe. :) :D 

Everything's Gonna Be Alright

I cross the ocean

I cross the sea

Starting to forget the way you look at me

Over the mountain

I cross the sky

Need to see your face

I need to lookin in your eyes

Through the storms and through the clouds

Bumps in the road and upside down now

I know it's hard babe to sleep at night

Don't you worry cause everything's gonna be alright

Through the sorrow

In the fight

Don't you worry cause everything's gonna be alright

All alone in my room

Waiting for your phone call to come soon

For you

I will walk a thousand miles to be in your arms holding my heart

I Love You

You know that I care for you

I'll always be there for you

Promise I will stay right here

I know that you want me too

We can make it through anything

Everything's gonna be alright

Eja tak tahu nak tujukan pada siapa </3  

Tapi... :|

Hmmmm... :/

Mungkin bukan sekarang :(                       ~~                          Mungkin in future nanti :D 

Who knows :) 

Selamat Hari Merdeka :D

Kawan-kawan, Selamat Hari Merdeka!!

Merdeka!! :D

Merdeka!! :D

Merdeka!! :D

***************

Dari malam semalam sampai lah hari ni, tak lekang bunyi mercun dengan bunga api. So seronok tapi kadang-kadang rasa nak tercabut jantung bila mercun tu bunyi macam meletup dekat tepi telinga. :/ 

So guys, macam biasalah kan, bila malam merdeka je, ramailah orang pegi dekat dataran untuk countdown merdeka. Eja tak pernah pegi sebab tak bekesempatan lagi and memang tak nak pergi pon. Sesak kot. Lagi pon selain daripada pegi dataran tu, ada je benda lain yang boleh kita buat kan. 

Eja pegi mana semalam?

:) Eja pegi PD!!! Hahahaa.. Yess, I went to PD last night and I'm so happy. Thanks to Faris sbb ajak aku pegi sana and thanks to Kakak and suami for the ketam masak pedas, udang celup tepung and ikan masak 3 rasa semalam. So sedap, giler kenyang, giler best :D 

Sepanjang perjalanan Eja nak pegi PD tu, Eja nampak benda yang dah jadi macam satu adat especially teenagers macam kita nie. Tak tau lah nak panggil mat rempit ke apa tapi sepanjang-panjang jalan nak pegi dekat PD tu banyak je mamat-mamat motor yang tersadai dekat tepi jalan. Macam lifeless giler bila malam merdeka nak pergi belumba. :/ Kesian doh. Mungkin dengan cara berlumba sambil menggayakan pelbagai aksi macam superman and bawak motor macam orang ada bisul tu cool and awesome kot :/ Peliss okey.. Macam takde benda lain nak buat. Kalau superbike takpelah jugak nk show off. :p

Apa Eja buat dekat PD?

:) Eje pegi makan dekat PD. Sedap!! :D hahaha.. Dah orang ajak kite pegi lah kan. Nak pulak makan orang support. Lagi seronok :) Alhamdulillah rezeki malam merdeka. Hahahaa.. Tapi rasa awkward sebab dengan family dia kot. Tak boleh nak act like normal. Hehehehee..

After makan, lepak dekat pantai pulak. Saja amik angin malam sambil tengok aktiviti manusia yang ada dekat sne. Malam merdeka la katekan. Macam-macam benda orang buat. Ada yang bekhemah dekat pantai, ada yang main spirit fire, ada yang just having party. 

Lepas tu kiteorang balik kL semula. Perut pon dah kenyang, mata pon dah kuyu and badan pon dah lembik tapi seronok sangat :) If i get this chance again, I would like to join them. I love it!



* Makan itu seronok namun apakan daya, tangki saya sangat kecik. Huhuhuhuu :| *

We are the Crazy People

Hello my gojes... :D

Sedar tak sedar dah nak habis sem kan. Tinggal beberape bulan je lagi.. Aucch :( sedihnye.. Tapi takpelah. Next sem kan ada lagi :) Even dah mid sem pon, Eja still tak introduce dekat korang kawan2 Eja yang agak giler and funny. They are too awesome and I'm so glad to have them all in my life. Thanks guys. :D

So, here we are. This is my buddies yg crazy and funny. I can't stop laughing if I'm with them. 

The one yg free hair tu nama dia Raefah but we called her Faa.. She is lovely and gojes person. Cantik kan dia :) Benda yang unik pasal dia adalah rambut sbb dengan keadaan rambut dia tu kite boleh tau apa emosi dia. Hahahaha.. 

Next to her is Fairuzah or Yus. She is a female okey. I used to call her abang and i don't know why. Hahahaa but nvm. She is the crazies in this group. Dengan cara cakap and the way she express the feeling sangat kelakar. I still remember her expression when I called her Kak Yus. She yelled at me but i know she didn't mean it. But her facial expression was so funny. i can't stop laughing when i'm thinking about it. Hahaha..

At the back yang free hair tu Suzy. Her name is so unique okey, Suzy Sisisary.. Comel kan nama dia. Just like the owner. :) Yang ni mulut dia giler superb plus ayat dia memang pedih. Perghh! Agaknye kalau sape yang xkenal dia mesti terasa hati dengan apa yang dia cakap sebab dia ni jenis cakap lepas TAPI dia baik and sangat concern dengan kawan2 dia especially bila kawan2 dia ada masalah. :) So sweet kan.. ;)

Okey, the next one is Syikin. The one who sit beside Suzy. Yang ni pon lebih kurang spesis si Suzy jugak sebab mulut dia pon boleh tahan best. Sekali dia cakap buat Eja tegamam but all the thing she said tu mcm funny for me even bila dia tengah marah. Hahahahaa.. She is so kind and gojes of course and lovely too. Lovely kee?? Erkk.. Hahaha.. Lovely lah kan kalau dah kawan dengan Eja. 

Finally, the last one is Hani ( the one at mt back ). Dia ni si Gay or Bapuk si Yus. Hani ni classmate Eja masa sem lepas tapi kiteorng tak berapa nak rapat sangat lah sebab..hmm.. Entahlah.. :/ Nvm.. Dia kalau dengan Yus memang ada je benda yang pelik or something funny yang dia nak buat :D For me, Hani lah yang paling cool dalam group ni. I don't know why i'm saying that tapi dia memang cool. 

Ni lah my buddies, the craziest buddy that i ever had :D Susah senang selalu bersama, peduli apa yang orang cakap. Gaduh manja bersama. Itulah kami. I love you guys very much <3 

*To all my friend, thank you so much for light up my every single day and be with me when I'm alone or in trouble. I appreciate it and kite kawan kan?? :D